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- Birnkrant Complains About Underfunding, Sushi Night Reduced to Once a Week
Breaking News:
- Inside Out 2 Reveals Newest Emotion: Slow-Creeping Existential Dread
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- Divorced Father Wins Children’s Presence at Thanksgiving With Promises of Underage Drinking
- Trojan Knights Chest Paint Accidentally Spells Out The Name of The Forbidden One, Summoning His Wretchedness from the Depths
- Cheer Heard After Leaving Party Was About You
The Sack of Troy
USC's Second Best Parody Newspaper
