by Andy Gause
SCHOOL OF CINEMATIC ARTS- Will Odenkirk, a junior film production major, was found dead in the Avid Editing Labs early Monday morning. Mr. Odenkirk was reportedly working on a 15 minute film project for CPTR 310 “Intermediate Production,” and in a rush to finish, went without food or water for three days.
The police suspect that the cramped, depressing atmosphere of the editing lab contributed to his demise. Officer Lance Hanson stated, “when you spend too much time in a dark room surrounded by other nervous, sweaty students, your body begins to react negatively and shut down.”
Other film students working on their CPTR 290 and CPTR 480 projects smelled something more rancid than the normal stench of desperation and fear in the lab. At 9am, they reported the body to the student worker on duty who was unable to ‘re-boot’ Mr. Odenkirk and promptly called his supervisor.
The CPTR 310 project Mr. Odenkirk was working on is about a nerdy cinephile who falls in love with a gorgeous, re-animated doll. The protagonist, who looks surprisingly similar like Mr. Odenkirk himself, learns to live life to the fullest, although early critiques suggest the project’s theme is muddled at best.
Jonathan Chen, another production student working on the project, told reporters, “Will was a great kid and the best editor on our team. I’m so grateful he saved his progress before kicking the bucket or else we’d be screwed.”
Police suspect that Mr. Odenkirk was in the middle of color correcting his film when he shuffled off his mortal coil. As a precaution, the police watched the unfinished film. The general consensus on the force was that the sound and plotting needed work.
“I can see why the deceased was down here so long. The story is all over the place and I couldn’t really connect with the characters,” said Mr. Hanson, adding, “with a little more editing, this thing might be pretty good.”