- Student Outraged That Dining Dollars Not Accepted In The Real World
- Oscar-Mayer Truck Visits Trousdale, Immature Freshman Passes Out Trying To Restrain Wiener Jokes
Breaking News:
- A Sack of Troy Investigative Report: How To Bribe Your Way Into Clubs At USC
- Freshmen Report: Every Friend Group Already Formed
- U.S. Government Releases New Military Propaganda Made With Canva
- “I’m Having A Hot Girl Summer,” Says Woman Who Has Spent Every Moment Of It Watching Love Island With Zero Human Contact
- Breaking: 9/11 For NPR Listeners
The Sack of Troy
USC's Second Best Parody Newspaper
