DreamWorks Studios Announces New Themepark

by Jack Hackett

DreamWorks SKG will be in some serious trouble if it cannot pull out a box office hit in the coming months.  In the midst of restructuring, with falling stocks, the studio must lay off over 500 employees.  Executives hope that films like Home (starring Jim Parsons and Rihanna) this year and The Croods 2 (starring Emma Stone and Nicolas Cage) in 2017 will bring the money flooding back to the studio like the good ol’ days.  Or the way the studio calls it, the “Shrek age.”

The board, being skeptical about the films making a splash in the box office, forced studio chief, Jeffrey Katzenberg, to think on his feet.

His idea to save the company is to open a theme park called DreamWorksland.  “Since Disney and Universal can make successful theme parks, why can’t DreamWorks?”

Just like Disney and Universal, DreamWorksland will consist of different “lands”: Shrekville, Turbo Town, Antzhill, Croodstopia, Kung Fu Pandaland, and How to Train Your Dragon Island.

The park will also have a Main Street, CA, with representations of several year’s worth of DreamWorks’ live action movies.  This area will include a theater with live performances of Saving Private Ryan the Musical, Cowboys vs. Aliens on Ice, Shark Tale LIVE!, and more.

The studio bought a large plot of land for $3 billion a few miles outside of Apple Valley, CA near the Mojave Desert. The opening day is scheduled for June 2016.

“It’s the only place big enough for the expansion plans the studio has for the park,” said Katzenberg, “We needed a space large enough for the all the fabulous ideas we have.”

The first expansion will include a large safari type attraction called the “Madagascar Adventure” based on the film Madagascar. Visitors will float along a river and see all sorts of jungle animals voiced by your favorite actors.

“The theme park system works,” states David Geffen, co-founder of DreamWorks SKG, “With our cutting edge attractions and masterfully written live shows, Dreamworksland is guaranteed to put us back on top.  I don’t know why we didn’t do this sooner!”

Steven Spielberg, director of 1941 and Hook, is against the idea and has decided to remove his “S” from the company’s title; the official name of the company is now DreamWorks KG.

Jack Hackett

He is your run of the mill bad boy. He hangs out by the dumpsters during recess sucking down cigarettes. He is complex by nature, but is simply looking for love.

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