SCA Shrouded in Mysterious Fog to Honor David Lynch

By Liam Stephenson

LOS ANGELES –  Following the passing of director David Lynch, USC’s School of Cinematic Arts has honored Lynch by covering it’s building in a thick, mysterious layer of mist.

“We wanted to honor David in a way he would love,” stated Dean Elizabeth Daley. “That’s why, in addition to the fog, we’ve swapped all the bathrooms in SCA with infinitely long, velvet-draped hallways. We will also be emitting a quiet, continuous scream in every classroom, which employees will refuse to acknowledge when asked about.”

Many students have shown appreciation for SCA’s tribute to the late director. “I tried meeting with my professor during office hours, but he wasn’t there.” stated CAMS student Lauren Palmers. “His office was covered wall–to-wall in mirrors, and the only person there was a go-go dancer with bees coming out of her eyes. When she looked at me, my arms and legs melted into a fine powder. It was such a touching tribute to Lynch.”

For those still grieving Lynch’s death, SCA will be handing out copies of Fyodor Dostoevsky’s “Crime and Punishment” by the school’s entrance.