Girl Wants Boyfriend To Commit To More Serious Shows On Netflix

by Zoe Haddad

STARBUCKS COFFEE—Dana Jones and her boyfriend Garrett Impton have been dating for four months. Jones initially bonded with Impton over their love of Mad Men—or so she thought. Though Jones believes they are ready for a serious show to watch, Mr. Impton feels there must be a way out.

“You know, he watched The Office all day yesterday. It’s safe. He’s seen every episode fifty times. It’s time to start taking life seriously, like starting The West Wing. It’s time,” Jones says, “We’re not going to be sophomores forever.”

When questioned why such resistance to watching a show with morals and values, it can be seen that Impton is watching the Netflix animated sitcom BoJack Horseman under the table on his phone.

Impton says, “It’s just that I can’t take that step. I come back from class and I’m barely lucid that I just want something I know is entertaining and funny. Something easy, something I don’t have to put all my eggs in. I just, I just can’t do that again. Not with LOST and everything. I have no trust anymore.”

Impton is not alone. A percentage of men in a survey say they will not commit to a serious show. A staggering number of them see no reason to give up their many light-hearted shows for one long and boring show. 

Tim Mothly, a close friend of Impton, says he has never seen his friend watch a meaningful show before, “He’s just not that not type of guy. I can’t see him committing to one long-term show, at the very least not until he finishes Season 3 of Archer. He’s been pretty obsessed with BoJack Horseman recently.”

It appears as though Impton cannot handle the baggage and responsibility that comes with a serious show. He says, “If I commit to a drama, I won’t have time for other shows… other funnier, sexier shows—shows that just want to have a good time. I’ll have to invest all my time on this one show. It’s demanding and stressful—I don’t want that.”

Impton continues, now on his second episode of BoJack Horseman, “My on-again-off-again shows allow that if I miss an episode or two it won’t matter. We’re just flirting around and having fun, those shows and I. Why would I want that to end?”

“It’s like, what, I’m supposed to all of a sudden start watching House of Cards? Then I’d have to introduce House of Cards to my parents because they would probably really enjoy it. You know, the political astuteness and everything. And then I’ll have to pretend like I’m not watching Top Gearanymore. And before you know it you’re watching the same old documentaries every night and missing out on your youth and all the freedom and liberties that come with it. I’m not ready for that.”

While Jones is reevaluating their relationship, she hopes that one day soon Impton will change, “I trust that Garrett is capable of committing to a serious show. He’s already given up watching Bojack Horseman. I’m really proud of him.”

It should be noted Malcolm in the Middle is a great show.