- Freshman Realizes EVK “Japanese Bar” “Chinese Bar” “Rice and Noodle Bar” “Teriyaki Bar” and “Mongolian Barbecue Bar” Actually The Same
- Funding Runs Out, Schwarzenegger Institute Terminated
Breaking News:
- Midwesterner Identifies as Californian After Two Semesters
- Local Guy Best Friend Continues the Search for His Hug After a Year and a Half
- Chili’s “Cinco De Mayo” Special Just 5 Bowls of Mayonnaise
- Construction for USC Infinite Youth Fountain to be Finished Whatever Year You Graduate
- SCA Senior Secures Unpaid Internship Networking at WGA Picket Line
The Sack of Troy
USC's Second Best Parody Newspaper
