- Freshman Realizes EVK “Japanese Bar” “Chinese Bar” “Rice and Noodle Bar” “Teriyaki Bar” and “Mongolian Barbecue Bar” Actually The Same
- Funding Runs Out, Schwarzenegger Institute Terminated
Breaking News:
- Girl at Party Not Flirting With You, Just Good at Small Talk
- Dianne Feinstein Officially Old Enough to Run for President
- Eurocentric Asshole Only Thinks About The Ming Dynasty Every Two Weeks
- Biden Convinced “Impeachment Inquiry” Newest Ben & Jerry’s Flavor
- “I Would Never Spank My Child,” Says White Mom Who Walks Her Son On A Dog Leash
The Sack of Troy
USC's Second Best Parody Newspaper
