By Emily Torp
WASHINGTON, DC — After a hard-earned Biden victory, The Lincoln Project, one of the most vocal groups working to unseat Donald Trump, has flipped back to their Republican roots and is now working hard towards reinstating a true conservative in the White House in 2024. It’s only a few days after the election results have been called, but their team will waste no time or expense to turn the White House to the true red of their dreams.
Rick Wilkinson, chief strategist for the group, says their effort to help “a feminazi socialist” was a one time thing. “All we really cared about was power. Trump was ruining the Republican party and NO ONE would listen to us. So we had to show Daddy that we were capable of making it on our own. Now that he’s no longer the boss, we can get what we really want – women slaves and higher levels of homelessness we can blame on the Democrats. I mean, Christian, pro-life values, free market capitalism, and a handsome, rugged looking leader who actually reads from the teleprompter.”
From their re-imagining of Reagan’s “Morning in America” as Trump’s “Mourning in America,” to shutting down all DC and DMV McDonalds to starve the now lame duck President, the Lincoln Project has done it all. But what comes next from them? Full fledged support for Little Baby Bush! and the Republican that Democrats loved until he voted to confirm Amy Coney Barrett, Mr. Oven Mitt himself.
Many political pundits are criticizing this quick reversal of the Project’s extreme effort to elect a Democrat. Two different spokesmen replied: “It’s politics, bud, what did you expect,” and “It’s all about the benjamins, baby!”
Nevertheless, America is looking forward to Lincoln Project ads accusing Kamala of destroying the American family by wearing a pantsuit with converse in 2024.
I’m Jeb! and I approve this message.