Area Baseball Fan Wouldn’t Have Swung at That

by Jack Hackett

ANAHEIM, CA — Last night at Mickey’s Pub, area baseball fan Frankie Johnson watched an  Angels player swing and miss an inside curveball on TV. Johnson announced that if he was there, he wouldn’t have swung at that.

“It’s the top of sixth, no outs, two balls. No reason to swing. If I was him, I woulda watched that ball go by,” slurred Johnson.

The bartender and patrons weren’t sure who he was addressing with these statements, but they did agree his opinions held some merit.

“The pitcher’s getting tired. If I was him, I’d crowd the plate right now. Psych ‘em out,” burped Johnson as he downed his fourth Coors Light. “Unless that baby comes flying straight through the strike zone, I wouldn’t bat an eyelash.”

At press time, Johnson demonstrated to the room his signature bunt and slash he would use if the count was 0-3.

Jack Hackett

He is your run of the mill bad boy. He hangs out by the dumpsters during recess sucking down cigarettes. He is complex by nature, but is simply looking for love.