Spring Break Coming Early After Interim President Kim Sees Shadow

By Margaret Danenhauer 

PUNXSUTAWNEY, CA — Interim President Kim has abruptly cancelled all classes this week after he popped his head out of a little hole in the president’s mansion and saw his shadow.

“HOLY FUCK WHAT IS THAT? WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT?? GET IT OFF ME!” Kim screamed in agony.

When asked by his wife Elizabeth Interim President Kim if he felt up to going to school that day, the president reportedly told her he was “pulling a Ferris Bueller” and if someone came looking for him, they could “come catch [his] ass in the Big Apple.”