By Mia Young and Preston Long
LONDON, ENGLAND — In a shocking display of cruel, capitalistic inhumanity, area old woman Elizabeth Alexandra Mary Windsor was found dead after slaving through 70 long years of waving, grimacing, and labored breathing. Among the proudest moments of her career is the time she killed a woman for being too fun, and harassed another for being too black. She is survived by ten different dogs who look identical and fourteen former colonies.
“Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth II” by Defence Images is licensed under CC BY-NC 2.0.