By Mia Young
BOISE, ID – Area woman Michelle Roth is vastly different from other girls her age. For example, she has hemorrhoids.
In an interview Michelle stated that, “What differentiates me from other women is that I have to slather my asshole in Neosporin every night.”She also stated that her hemorrhoids are the result of a rare and incurable skin condition, which even furthers her individuality. “1 to 4 percent of Americans have it, so I’m very special. The only drawback is that it hurts when I sit.” she said as she stood during the interview.
Michelle’s ex-boyfriend, Anthony Stevens offered his own remarks on her outlook. “She’s definitely got a superiority complex,” he laughed. “I remember when we broke up she stormed out of my apartment and yelled ‘You’ll never find another woman like me!’ And given her chronic, incurable ‘roids, she was kind of right.”
We also spoke to Michelle’s psychiatrist who, for legal reasons, could not disclose much, yet stated that “She’s certainly an individual.” Our reporters confirmed this as Michelle proudly showcased her basket of hemorrhoidal products, including gauze, medical tape, and various topical ointments.
Regardless of her physical ailments, Michelle lives vicariously through her job as a bookkeeper and part time pole dancer.