By Amanda Douglas
PALMDALE, CA – In a devastating misstep, local commuter Terry Moore proclaimed, “Me, myself, and I love the carpool lane,” minutes before he received a heavy fine.
Co-worker Randall Garcia spoke with Moore earlier that evening. “I was making small talk about the traffic when Terry started breathing all heavy and winking at me and stuff,” Garcia explained. “Normally I wouldn’t engage, but it felt blatantly sexual. So, I asked what he was doing and he goes, ‘Me, myself, and I love the carpool lane.” Garcia shook his head. “I know it was rehearsed because he messed up halfway through and asked if he could start over.”
Linda Sweet, who also works with Moore, was leaving for the day when she spoke with him. “Terry comes sprinting out of nowhere, almost hits my car, and then has to try three times to deliver this bizarre line about loving the carpool lane,” Sweet said. “Yesterday he sent an email blast asking ‘someone whose time is less valuable’ to bring him Cool Ranch Doritos. I thought that was his low.”
Five minutes away from the office, Officer Lloyd Jenkins ordered Moore—who was blasting Snow Patrol—to pull over. According to witnesses, Moore nearly caused a pile-up moving from the far-left carpool lane to the shoulder.
“I was about to give him a warning because I get it, traffic can suck,” Jenkins commented. “But before I could say anything, he insisted that he didn’t know he was in the carpool lane. Then he said my hat made me look like Mother Caroline from Little House on the Prairie.”
Moore went to fight Jenkins in court two weeks later. He opened his defense with the carpool lane line and finally nailed it on his first try. He proceeded to lose the trial and will pay the $400 fine, which does not include legal fees.