Waiting in Line for Starbucks is My Own Personal Great Depression

by Sara Linden

USC — The Starbucks at the university village isn’t on Tapingo, and we might as well be living during the Great Depression. Actually, I would rather be living in the Great Depression because there were probably less people in bread lines than there are right now at this Starbucks.

I know what you’re thinking. “Sara, people were genuinely starving then.” I get it. I am genuinely starving now. In the line at the village Starbucks. Without my venti iced chai, I am starving, and with the amount of time and patience it takes to get my venti iced chai, I’ll probably die.

A dying family of five pales in comparison to the way my legs feel when I have to stand 20-people-deep in this line. It should be considered cruel and unusual punishment to have to wait in that line with all those poor people, just like in the Great Depression, and I expect Tapingo to be capitally punished for not adding the village Starbucks on their app.

Bread lines were objectively much less stressful. If you and your family are starving in the Great Depression, you don’t have anywhere to go after because you’re dying. But for me, I need to have my venti iced chai in the next ten minutes or I’ll be later than normal to class.

There’s no way to describe the pain of waiting in the line at the village Starbucks to someone who has either never used Tapingo before or is starving in a breadline in the 30’s. They just won’t get it, so I am set to suffer alone forever and there’s no solution.

Sara Linden

After spending her youth in the jungle of Missouri, Sara came to Los Angeles to become a screenwriter. She likes Ghostbusters, ice cubes, and self sabotage, but not all at once.

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