Intern Makes It a Record 35 Minutes Into Workday Before Thinking About Lunch

by Rob Smat

COMPUSYS NETWORKS — Intern Norman has had quite a morning! Between arriving at work seven minutes late, refilling the coffee pot, and answering two emails that weren’t meant for him, Norman momentarily managed to keep himself busy, which delayed his routine checking of the cafeteria’s lunch menu to exactly 35 minutes into the workday–at least 14 minutes over average!

Usually Norman goes straight for the menu and daydreams about his next break from the cubicle, but today he really carpe diemed.

“Typically when I intern I don’t have much to do. However, today’s a new day,” hurrahed Norman.

Eugene, his intern desk neighbor, remarked, “Norman had a special glint in his eye this morning, almost as if he felt like a working cog in the corporate machine that actually mattered.”

Other co-workers noted similar reactions. They didn’t see Norman’s first trip to the water cooler until 9:15am, and even then he only dispensed himself one cup of water.

Hopefully, things will look up for Norman in the coming days. Current estimates say he may break his record again later this week when his supervisor assigns him a special project, which will be directing traffic to a temporary parking lot while Compusys undergoes construction. But Norman will be really making a difference!

Despite paying careful attention to the menu, Norman stuck to his usual ham and turkey panini with fries and a water.