- Song Girl Throws Out Hip During Third Down Defense
- Visiting Parents Return Home With Students’ Sobriety
Breaking News:
- Lol, Severed Penis on Sidewalk Pretty Small
- Scheduling A Mandatory Meeting, And 5 Other Signs That Your Academic Advisor Wants You
- SC Loses After Freshman Forgets To Kick Lamppost
- Rivalry Game Actually Just A Mid-Off
- Opinion: Why I, A Straight White Cisgender Male, Will Be Watching This Season Of Dancing With The Stars With A Keen Eye
The Sack of Troy
USC's Second Best Parody Newspaper
