Student Pissed That There’s Still A Line for Panda Express During Spring Break

by Jack Hackett

USC — While all of his friends went away, sophomore Quinlan Buxter decided to stay on campus for his spring break. One day he got a hankering for some orange chicken, so he strapped on his pants and trekked over to the campus center to only find a line out the door waiting for a him.

“Oh, this is some BS,” shouted Buxter. “What’re you people doing here? It’s spring break. Go do something with yourselves!”

“We could say the same about you, pal,” retorted a girl in line.

Stumped on coming up with a comeback, Buxter quietly stepped to the end of the line.

“The rest of campus is a ghost town,” noted Buxter. “There’s no soul for as far as the eye can see. So why in God’s name is there still a line for Panda Express? The food isn’t even that good.”

After twenty minutes of waiting, he finally got his food and sat down to eat. He opened up his box and realized he forgot to order the orange chicken, the whole reason he left the apartment in the first place.

Jack Hackett

He is your run of the mill bad boy. He hangs out by the dumpsters during recess sucking down cigarettes. He is complex by nature, but is simply looking for love.