Trump Pauses Tariffs So He Can Audit A High School Economics Class

Headline by Dean Woods

Article by Bill Rockas

WASHINGTON, DC – President Donald Trump has placed a 90 day pause on his tariff hike in order to read up on the basics of the economy in a local high school class.

The President initially held firm against the vicious backlash from his tariff policy but after one White House aide explained that “the stock market lines going DOWN on those BIG charts is a BAD thing” Trump reconsidered his plans, announcing “jk lol” this morning.

While the United States is once again free to trade with remote, penguin filled islands, the President is enjoying a wonderful coming of age story. He has been spotted sheepishly wandering the cafeteria looking for an open seat, connecting with his creative writing teacher who wears a scarf, and revealing his BFF Elon’s biggest secret to the whole school just to impress the “cool” kids.

Trump is still flunking out of his econ class as he takes every opportunity to announce “no one even needs goods from China. They suck and I hate them.” However he has found solace in his friendship with Matt Gaetz who is wandering the halls of this high school for no particular reason.