by Amanda Douglas
OAKLAND, CA – At a recent Oracle concert, patrons and employees alike were shocked by the surprisingly deep voice of the audience.
The band, a rising pop sensation, has proven popular with the teenage girl demographic. However, when frontman Wyatt Wilson gestured for the crowd to sing along during the encore, squeals and screams quickly transformed into a deep rumble.
Usher Angela Fare nearly had a heart attack. “It was like he’d woken a sleeping dragon,” she commented, shuddering at the memory. “The sound was so aggressively masculine, I don’t think human ears could even register most of it.”
Fans were equally confused. “I figured there must have been a big group of dads right behind me, but when I looked around it was just girls my age,” 14-year-old Riley Hart explained.
Some patrons were simply impressed. “It sounded like if Johnny Cash, Eddie Vedder, and Bruce Springsteen formed a chorus,” dad Bob Miller said gleefully. “I could hardly stop myself from tearing off my button-down and pounding my chest like a wild animal.”
Steve Dunn, the venue manager, had unique insight into the situation. “Some have speculated that the band actually brings in a chorus of sweaty men and hides them beneath the stage’s floorboards,” he whispered. “As to why they would aim for this effect, I have no idea.”
When asked about this theory, Wilson said that he was “shocked, appalled, offended, and bloated at the accusation.” Nevertheless, he proceeded to divulge that he found the harmony between his tenor and their bass to be “as delightful as a ham and tuna popsicle.”
A representative from MCA Records has since reached out to the crowd, hoping to sign them and their luxuriously deep voice.