- Undergraduate Squirrel Government Begins Sex Education Program
- Optimists in Birnkrant Change Name to “Birnkran”
Breaking News:
- Girl Gets Parents to Fund Trip to Cabo by Saying She Can Get Around Tariffs
- Carol Folt Finally Locks The Fuck In For Final Semester
- Twitter Likes Reinstated: Girls Around the World Excited to Stalk Their Situationships a Sixth Way
- Top 8 People You Found Out Were Catholic Yesterday
- A.J. & Big Justice Pay Respects To Tragic Coal Mine Explosion With Five Big Booms
The Sack of Troy
USC's Second Best Parody Newspaper
