Parents Keep Making Up Excuses to Elongate Move-In Process

by Jack Hackett

NEW NORTH — Unable to say goodbye to their child, Tim, and finally become empty-nesters, local parents Greg and Stacey Stromholdt keep making up excuses to lengthen the move-in process, like cleaning the windows and refolding Tim’s clothes.

“After we steam the curtains and fluff the pillows, we’ll move on to combing the carpet and rewiring the outlets,” exclaimed Stacey. “This is going to be the best dorm in the hall. I wish I lived here.”

Although appreciating their efforts, Tim was not as enthusiastic about his parents’ assistance: “I left to sign up for my classes and when I returned hours later, my parents were still there, vacuuming the ceiling. Is there really that much to do in a glorified broom closet?”

At press time Stacey and Greg reported to be fully prepared to leave by September or mid-October, after the room can be sprayed for mosquitos.

Jack Hackett

He is your run of the mill bad boy. He hangs out by the dumpsters during recess sucking down cigarettes. He is complex by nature, but is simply looking for love.