To Struggling Harvard Students…We’re Here For You

By Margaret Danenhauer

In a time where higher education is under attack, Harvard students and their educations have become political targets. We at the Sack empathize and hold space for struggling Harvard students — that is, students who struggle with how unfunny and absolutely mid their excuse for a comedy magazine, The Harvard Lampoon, is. In these unprecedented times, the much better Sack of Troy knows that simply sending thoughts and prayers is not enough. 

The Sack invites all Harvard students concerned for their status as people with good taste to apply to the Sack, especially any brave dissenters from The Hard-headed Lam-fool who feel confident enough to try to get on our (much higher) level. We will admit any student whose student status is terminated by our government, or who just wants to get away from their unfunny peers. From everyone at the JeSack of ChrisTroy, we send our love to the inferior Harvard student body, and @harvardlampoon delete your account ugly.