Dramatic Arts MFA Holds Going Out Of Business Sale

By Levi Elias

LOS ANGELES, CA — Acting. A profession notorious for a masters degree being its barrier of entry. USC’s prestigious School of Dramatic Arts MFA program has been training 27-year-old actors to enter Hollywood for only a small price of $90,000 a year, since whenever it was founded. But somehow its genius business model has failed and they’re handing out MFA’s on the street for free. Come get yours today!

“It’s very sad to see such a historic program go out of business. Theater education is so important” says SDA donator Mark Hamill. When asked where he got his Master’s degree in theater from, he replied “Oh I didn’t go to grad school. I got an associates degree and then I became Luke fucking Skywalker.” He then spilled 20 million dollars and a Daytime Emmy onto the floor.

“I agree, education in the art of acting in a postgraduate program truly enhances an actor’s skillset. It’s invaluable” says Oscar award winning actress Jennifer Lawrence. “I mean, not for me. I didn’t need it. But it’s definitely important or something probably. I don’t know. I was on Monk.”

Everyone should swing by and grab their free Theater MFA as soon as they can! The degree is incredibly useful, especially as a symbol of the countless years you’ve wasted doing nothing with your life to motivate you to go out there and make something happen. Or as a coaster.