By Levi Elias
HOLLYWOOD, CA — Box office sales roared into the new year with the re-re-re-release of fan favorite post-pubescent comedy, Mean Girls: Shamefully The Movie Musical: The Musical: Probably Soon To Be The Paramount Plus Original Series.
This iteration of Mean Girls marks a positive trend of genuinely original storytelling in modern cinema. In fact, it’s wild success even led to Tina Fey announcing that she’ll be writing a brand new Broadway musical based on this movie musical movie musical movie book movie musical movie. When asked what inspired her to start writing another musical based on a movie, Tina Fey’s eyes turned into dollar signs (much like Mr. Krabs when he smells a nickel) as she responded, “I just love empowering women in comedy!”
“They had Regina George in a movie, then they had Regina George sing, but they never had Regina George sing in a movie. Technically, that’s considered new IP, which really spoke to me as an artist. Plus, now the characters are on TikTok! They didn’t have that before,” commented the film’s director, Samantha Jayne. “I like it when she gets hit by the bus,” added Jayne’s husband and co-director, Arturo Perez Jr. Jayne then gave Perez his iPad and granted him permission to play Raid Shadow Legends in the corner.
When a Sack of Troy correspondent attended Theatrical Film Symposium and asked the directors why Mean Girls was advertised as an Olivia Rodrigo blood orgy in the trailers instead of a musical, they shot and killed him in the middle of Norris Cinema Theater. It was recorded and screened in beautiful 35mm film with impeccably crisp audio, courtesy of Dolby Atmos Surround Sound.