Sad: Neither of This Man’s Secret Families Wished Him Happy Father’s Day

By Preston Long

ECHO PARK, CA — Saying that the situation had shaken his trust in his families, local man David Moorehouse was shocked to discover Sunday that both of his secret families had forgotten Father’s Day.

“I didn’t expect much: maybe a little breakfast in bed followed by another breakfast in bed that I didn’t really touch because I ‘wasn’t feeling well’” said Moorehouse. “But I think I deserve some appreciation, you know? It’s true what they say: any man can be a father, but it takes someone special to be two dads.”