Girlboss Alert! This Video Game Boss is a Girl

By Drew Thomas-Nathan

VALENCIA, CA — That’s another glass ceiling shattered as area gamer Alexander Dawson confirmed that the boss he had to fight at the end of a video game level he was playing was indeed a girl.

“It’s wild, the character is a girl but I fight her until she explodes into gold coins just like any other boss in this game,” said Daweson. The video game in question is developer Wayfarback’s new Shanty and the Pirate’s Booty, an adventure game available on all platforms where one of the bosses is a lady pirate named Jolene Roger.

Wayfarback brought the character to life with painstakingly hand-drawn 2D animation that accentuates the character design’s round shapes. In the boss fight players must dodge lipstick and tampon projectiles as they wait for an opening to attack Ms. Roger’s big bouncy weak point: her busts.

“If we’re going to make a boss female, we have to go all the way,” said game director Mike Oboe. “There has to be an important reason that this character is a woman or players will be confused. We can’t make a regular pirate boss that shoots cannonballs and just say she’s a girl, because players will think ‘Why does it have to be a girl to shoot cannonballs?’”

Daweson praised the game developers for utilizing the character’s gender for a unique encounter, even down to the dialogue. “The whole battle she taunts you with appropriate, convincing phrases,” said Daweson. “Stuff like ‘Why don’t you talk about your emotions?’ and ‘Use shampoo and conditioner, not 2-in1!’ Sounds like my girlfriend.”

Dawson says he can’t wait to replay the mission after installing the DDD expansion pack.