by Elise Vondra
DULUTH, MN – After dropping the kids off at a sleepover, Sherry Gables kicked off her loafers, lit a Bath and Body Works candle, and sat down to write down a shopping list for a late night excursion to Target. Gables, a stay-at-home mother of four, rounded out her aesthetic with a nice cold glass of “mommy juice” to take the edge off.
With a glass of Shutter House Pinot Grigio in hand, Gables playfully scripted a list of food to buy for her little troublemakers.
“Oh I have to get get Scooby Snacks Fruit Snacks for Jayleen, but then SpongeBob ones for MuckKayLuh because she is scared of Scooby,” Gables giggled to herself.
As she poured another glass of cheap white into her glass (clearly made for a red), her list got more creative.
“AVOID THAT BITCH SHANNON,” Gables scribbled. The thought of hearing Shannon talk about how her little gremlin Tommy was the best soccer player on the field made Gables shake with anger.
“Maybe I need a mommy tic tac,” Sherry Gables muttered as she pulled out a Xanax. “I deserve it.”
At press time, Gables was seen passed out on the floor with Target bags filled with more shitty wine, no fruit snacks, and a Cosmo magazine.