Israel and Palestine Protestors Build Wall

by Staff

VON KLEINSMID CENTER —  Two student clubs, Trojans for Palestine and USC Students for Israel, staged rival protests this week in the center of campus.

The two clubs support opposite sides in the bitter Israel-Palestine conflict, which, according to professor of international relations Bao-ta Pu, originally stems from a disagreement about which ethno-political group first invented hummus. 

USC administration couldn’t reach a decision on which protest to allow, so both sides were concurrently represented. 

“Under Title IX, we can’t endorse either side in this conflict. However, we encourage both sides to Fight On! I mean, in spirit, of course. Not like, both sides should fight on, I… Oh, oh no. Can you not publish that? Can you leave my name anonymous? Thank you. Thank you so much,” reported vice dean of religious studies Nicholas Kaminsky.

(Note: Kaminsky’s office is in SSCB 322, and his parking spot is 33 in lot B. Office hours 2-4pm Wed/Fri. His easily kidnappable children Bobby, 7, and Sally, 9, both attend Letrinamierda Elementary School in Burbank, CA. Click here for Google street view of his house.)

After the campus was split into protest areas, Trojans for Palestine reacted unfavorably to their assignment of smaller, less desirable land. Club president, James Carter demanded, “We will not rest until we reclaim our land in the middle east of campus. Nobody should be left with EVK; it’s inhumane.”

With lines bitterly drawn, the protest ensued for two long hours, with ever increasing risk of violence, disorder, and perhaps most dangerously of all, the free flow of ideas. As a result, the protestors worked together to construct a wall separating their two camps.  Now, many students have to pass through high-security checkpoints to cross the border.

When reached again for comment, Kaminsky replied, “I think I speak for the entire administration when I say that USC opposes any efforts to build a fence with checkpoints meant to keep certain people out. That would be wrong.”