- “Shaking Bad” – Diagnosed With Parkinsons, A Man Decides To Deal Drugs To Support His Family
- President Nikias Gets Lost, Discovers Davis School of Gerontology
Breaking News:
- Trojans Learn An Important Lesson In Friendship, Lose 24-27
- Report: Hottest Woman You Know Dating A PVC Pipe With Eyes
- OPINION: USC Campus Security Asking More Questions Than Ever About My Bloody Garbage Bag Collection
- Parents Weekend Really Awesome For Everyone Except Batman
- Brat to School! 5 Must-Have School Supplies That Will Pop Your Pussy #vondutch
The Sack of Troy
USC's Second Best Parody Newspaper
