Erika Kirk Hires Cirque du Soleil Performers for 2026 Tour
By Jackson Sneeringer
PHOENIX — Famed widow and drag queen extraordinaire Erika Kirk is turning heads yet again following the announcement of Turning Point USA’s 2026 “Make Heaven Crowded” tour, featuring a unique Cirque du Soleil performance at each stop. MAGA fans and girlfail CEO enthusiasts alike can enjoy the once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to watch two variations of a professional clown take stage at the same time.
The announcement followed an embarrassingly short 6.1 million viewer turnout for the TPUSA Halftime show — and Kirk was determined to not let those deviants rain on her parade this time.
“We are only getting bigger and better! I am thrilled to announce my partnership with Cirque du Soleil for the 2026 Victory Tour Make Heaven Crowded Tour. We need to put our all into Making America Christian Again, and nothing brings you closer to the Lord than a flying trapeze. At each stop, I will also be honoring myself my late husband, Charlie, with the largest display of fireworks legally allowed in an indoor venue,” Kirk said.
However, some MAGA fans were left confused by the announcement. “Hold on, I thought this was supposed to be a new RuPaul spinoff?” said former New York City Mayor Rudy Giuliani.
Kirk assured parents that the event will be kid-friendly, and young children are more than welcome to attend America’s most politically correct circus. She added there will be a special section for kids aged “just conceived” to “barely legal” in a separate room with a door that locks from the inside.
Kirk also excitedly announced she tasked Vice President JD Vance with commissioning the US Department of Technology to invent a new type of stage light that emits crazy space lasers for the upcoming tour dates. “Anything to prevent Erika from talking to my wife,” Vance said.
