Three Things I Learned From The Smut Panel at the Festival of Books
By Pablo Rodriguez
LOS ANGELES, CA – Last weekend the LA Times held the world famous Festival of Books at our very own University of Southern California. While all the nerds attending the festival did so because they enjoy “fantasy” and “epic graphic novels” I was only there for the smut. More specifically, the highly regarded Los Angeles Times Festival of Books Smut Panel. Here are three key takeaways.
- Smut is hard.
And I’m not just talking about you know what. Writing smut is a whole complicated process. “Sometimes when I’m writing it feels just as good as when I’m having sex with my stud of a husband who works in the medieval horse stables with his top two buttons popped open and flowing mane” said author Sandra Monroe. “And sometimes I get so frustrated writing it feels like I’m having sex with the unemployed burnout I cheat on my husband with.”
- Someone actually draws those pictures???
When flipping through smut novels and looking at the sexy pictures included, one doesn’t think about who draws them. But someone does indeed have to draw Chad’s sexy nipple getting fingered. “It’s honestly impressive” said author Ashley Brooks “all I have to do is give my illustrator Jared one sentence of what I’m thinking and he whips it up.” Others aren’t so lucky; Author Teresa Davis responded to Brooks saying “I wish Sean could draw like that. I have to give feedback on 25 drawings of girls looking bored during sex until he’s finally able to draw her having fun.”
- I should stop reading smut
At the panel I couldn’t help but notice something very jarring: I was the only 63 year old man in a room packed with women in their mid-20s. I took this moment to reflect. Was I not the intended audience for smut? Was I supposed to be turned on by smut? I just liked the characters. Could it even be that I was reading too much smut? “No way!” I thought as I carried my 50 signed smut novels in my eco-friendly tote bag.
As the panel ended and all the women left with their friends I sat there in the giant auditorium, alone. Instead of hanging out with my kids I would spend my days reading smut. Instead of going on vacation with my family I would attend smut signings. My daughter was walking the graduation stage at Harvard, PhD diploma in hand, and where was I? The Los Angeles Times Festival of Books Smut Panel.
