ART COLUMN: Rorschach’s Newest Painting Looks an Awful Lot Like My Drunk Dad

By Alex Choy

MY THERAPIST’S OFFICE — Swiss psychologist Hermann Rorschach unveiled a new exhibit at the Los Angeles County Museum of Art today. Titled Take That, Freud!, Rorschach’s exhibit featured ten paintings, including a very detailed portrait of my father, Bach Choy.

Specifically, the piece “Inkblot” is a clear homage to my dad. The painting masterfully depicts a lifetime of neglect, no physical touch, and a beer belly rounder than a bowling ball. Oh yeah, that’s Pops.

Many of the nation’s most affluent put in offers for the piece. Mark Zuckerberg bid because “that’s what a real human person would do”. Peter Thiel wanted the piece so that he could “commit tax fraud, but like, legally”. President Trump opted not to bid, due to the piece reminding him of famed terrorist and alleged president Barack Obama.

In other news, my dad and I have jointly filed a lawsuit against Rorschach and LACMA. Watch your ass Hermann. There’s no WAY I’m letting you profit off of Our. Hard. Work. You steal my Dad’s image and think you get to make money off of it? Nuh fuckin’ uh. The whole experience actually brought the two of us a lot closer together. We played catch for the first time yesterday. Felt nice.

My dad was unavailable for comment, on account of him getting absolutely shitfaced at a Denny’s when I called.