Petroleo the Oil Wizard Seen Whispering to Trump During Press Conference 

By Pablo Rodriguez

MAR-A-LAGO, FL – During today’s press conference regarding the invasion of Venezuela and capture of President Maduro an unexpected face made an appearance: none other than evil sorcerer and Shell board member, Petroleo the Oil Wizard.

Petroleo, not having been publicly seen since the invasion of Iraq, was seen whispering in Trump’s ear. He could be heard saying “extract their oil” and “fuel my evil spell.” Once the press conference ended, Petroleo let out a large cackle and cast a spell turning a reporter into a barrel of crude oil.