Twunkmas, Butchcember, and Other Gay Terms Us Heteros Are Stealing this Holiday Season
By Margaret Danenhauer
PROVO, UT — This is for my matcha Dubai Labubu chocolate boys; this one is for my Erewhon Lululemon Stanley Cup girlies. This. One. Is For. Brandon. Get into your grinch era: here’s your holiday countdown of all the hot new gay slang terms the normals are swiping!
Twunkmas: Though you saw Frankie Grande deploy this term to refer to a late December orgy featuring men who are both twinky and hunky, go ahead and use it to describe gifting your alcoholic boyfriend a set of free weights for Christmas.
Butchcember: You might think this is a gay in-joke celebrating masculine members of the LGBTQIA+ community, but it’s actually a caption for straight women’s Instagram photos of them in sweatpants and a ponytail on Black Friday.
It’s Giving…Season?: Use this to describe how long you think the Utah Jazz are going to stay in the playoffs.
Make the Yuletide Gay: This is what you whisper to the altar server after your brother sounded extra faggy while receiving communion, followed by “amirite?”.
Sweater Weather: To describe when your bitch wife makes you wear a jacket on your Costco run because Zohran Mamdani seized the means of climate change production to make it rain seasonably on time.
New Year’s Dyke: What your uncle drove his boat into after a liiiiitle too much eggnog.
The Lyrics of Last Christmas: On second thought, don’t even touch it. Way too gay.Lesbian Hanukkah: When your woke nephew tells you he doesn’t want any of your raw milk, beef tallow latkes #reverseracism #stopthesteal.
