Student Union Busters Misinterpret Their Job

By Violet Rose Wang

LOS ANGELES, CA – Capitalists, scabs, and Interim President Beong-Soo Kims everywhere are bracing for impact after their union busters took it way too far this afternoon when they attempted to blow up the USC Student Union.

“I would never approve of this,” explained President Kim. “Our union busters are trained to be discrete, ambiguous, and secretive, as to slowly destroy the working class from the inside. These guys are also trying to destroy the working class from the inside, but like, more literally. They have no style at all.” Tesla CEO Elon Musk announced that he would be taking a step back to reevaluate his influence on eager union busters of the world, because clearly, they were getting a few too many ideas from volatile Cybertrucks.

At press time, the union busters were trying a different, more NSFW, and still incorrect interpretation of their name.