Travis Kelce Learns How to Swim

By Gabby Frugoni

KANSAS CITY, MO – He did it! Three-time Super Bowl champion Travis Kelce has finally learned how to swim after a grueling battle of not being able to. Several sources have previously reported The Chiefs tight end’s inability to swim, with many labelling him a “stupid dumb idiot boy.” However, Kelce recently proved them wrong when he was spotted doggie-paddling at a local public pool.

“My favorite swimming is breaststroke because it reminds me of boobs,” noted Kelce, to which everyone applauded. He was eager to show us his new skills, and not only could he swim, but he also displayed an impressive cannonball, handstand, and could hold his breath for 43 seconds. “That’s like a really long time,” said Kelce. His next goal is to do a backflip into the pool, but he is currently unsure if this is even humanly possible.

Kelce is excited about the opportunities that swimming gives him. “I can’t wait to play Sharks and Minnows!” said Kelce. Unfortunately, Taylor Swift will not allow him in the deep end yet.