Fall Break Touchy Subject For Humpty Dumpty

By Noelle Medina

LOS ANGELES, CA – Fragile and sensitive boy Humpty Dumpty reportedly cried and ran out of his McCarthy Honors College dorm when a conversation about his suitemates’ fall break plans took a tumble. The exchange triggered traumatic flashbacks of his great fall, which left him broken and in critical condition.

“One moment Pinocchio is talking about how we’re all going to have a great fall break, and suddenly I’m back there… Shattered on the floor… Screaming and pleading for all the King’s horses to just put me back together again…” said Dumpty, whose nerves were too scrambled for further comment.

“We really have to walk on eggshells around that guy. Say the wrong thing and he just cracks,” said The Gingerbread Man, promptly sending Dumpty into another panic attack.