“‘The Bear’ Is Not a Comedy” Wins ‘Most Original Thought’

By Charlotte Dekle

LOS ANGELES, CA — In the opening sketch of the Emmy Awards last night, comedian Nate Bargatze told a fresh and groundbreaking joke insinuating that The Bear is not a comedy show, despite its nomination in the category. At the end of the night, the Producers™ decided to reward Bargatze with the ‘Most Original Thought Award’ for which he received a standing ovation. 

“Yeah, I was just like, saying what no one else was thinking. ‘The Bear’ is about trauma and anxiety, it shouldn’t be in the comedy category. It was super subversive of me to bring up.” Bargatze said in his acceptance speech. 

For four seasons, ‘The Bear’ has delivered many laugh out loud moments, including Carmy having panic attacks in bathrooms, the smoldering sexual tension between Carmy and Sydney, and, of course, a long and drawn out conversation about caulking. Even though the show itself left The Emmys empty handed, ‘The Bear’ relished the opportunity to finally have some discourse since nobody was talking about this season. 

Some rebel groups objected to this visionary insight, citing the existence of ‘dramadies’ and ‘dark comedies,’ and pointing out that ‘The Bear’ does have genuinely funny moments. They’ve been dealt with in the back by the Producers™. “Yeah it hadn’t occurred to us that people might view our show in such a nuanced way,” said Jeremy Allen White of the Bear, “I guess we’re gonna have to completely pivot and start doing more shows about the absurdism of the television industry, they seem to really like that.”

Bargatze’s speech ran for ten minutes leaving a deficit of $39,000 to be taken from the Boys and Girls Club.