God Cries Over Los Angeles After Passage of Prop. 50

By Charlotte Dekle

LOS ANGELES, CA — According to Darren Priestley, President of Catholics Who Have To Put Their Nose Into Every Gosh Darn Thing Club, God has been seen silently weeping onto the city of Los Angeles after the passage of Daddy Newsom’s Election Rigging Response Act. Priestley purports that he was sent to the Earth to convey the wisdom of the big man upstairs and that the “rain” (as godless heathens call it) has been sent as a punishment for the liberal, lizard establishment takeover of California. 

“It’s one of the lesser known plagues. Frogs, gnats, locusts, bloody nile, death of the firstborn, and having to drive down the 405 in the pouring rain.” Priestley said in his Sunday sermon at the Caruso Catholic Center. God, Our Father, Who Art in Heaven, Hallowed Be Thy Name, was unreachable for comment.