“The Boys” Writers Rapidly Cutting Charlie Kirk Parody Out of Script

By Violet Rose Wang

SEATTLE, WA – Scissor snipping, paper shredding, and screams of “FUCK FUCK FUCK” could be heard from the Amazon Prime Video HQ the past few days as the writers of The Boys attempted to remove each and every reference to Charlie Kirk from the show’s script.

News of Kirk’s death quickly broke in the writer’s room, resulting at first in glee and laughter from the team, before an unpaid intern registered the dire consequences for their writing. The Season 5 script had been littered with cheeky references to far-right pundits, with a major supporting character being “Charley Quirk”, founder of Inflection Point USA, and a Supe with the ability to shrink his own face and cast an aura of nausea around himself.

The urgency only doubled when they saw that South Park had removed their episode featuring their Kirk parody from streaming services. “If even fucking South Park is censoring themselves, we’re royally fucked,” said The Boys showrunner Eric Kripke. “They’re gonna make a fucking example out of us. Trump is going to STRING US UP. We need to change the name of the show to The Proud Boys or something.”

Since the entire final season had already been recorded, the stars of the show were rapidly contacted begging them to return for reshooting. Unfortunately, they were all already booked, so a new cast was determined. Highlights include Chris Pratt as Hughie, Aquafina as Starlight, Benedict Cumberbatch as Butcher, and Jack Black as Homelander.