Taylor Swift Drops First Easter Egg for 2030 Divorce Album

By Margaret Danenhauer

NASHVILLE, TN – Taylor Swift just looked at the sales numbers for Adele’s 30 and sighed…and then she got to work. Early this morning, at exactly 3:14 am ET, a countdown appeared on Taylor’s website for August 26, 2030. According to one Swift-loving hacker, there’s a message hidden in the code:

“So basically, if you write the code out backwards, translate it to Mandarin, flip it upside down, fly to Antarctica, sacrifice two albino goats and chant the “All Too Well” bridge over their bleeding bodies, a voice will appear telling you to sign up for her Mastercard rewards for the chance to buy a new vinyl variant.”

When consumers sign up for the rewards, they are then directed to the hidden webpage hosting The Life of a Showgirl (Sad Girl Acrobatics Edition). This variant has an additional track, a cover of “I’m Not Getting Married Today” featuring notorious divorce album artist P!nk. 

And that’s not all. According to Tree Paine via the psychic channel I established with her during my time studying under Charles Xavier, these clues are just the first, teasing a break up album years in the making:“The title? A Taxi Car Named Divorce. The cover? An AA chip with bisexual lighting”, Tree projected through the cosmos. “First 50 people to buy will also receive a signed piece of the ripped up prenup, and when you assemble all the pieces like a jigsaw puzzle, it reveals that the true location of the Fountain of Youth is in Reading County, Pennsylvania.”