POTUS Changes Holiday Name To “Trump-MLK Day”
By Dean Woods
WASHINGTON, D.C. — Six weeks after removing MLK Day and Juneteenth from the National Parks calendar, Trump seems to have reversed his controversial decision. Signing his 229th executive order of the term, the holiday formerly known as “Martin Luther King Jr. Day” will now be called the “Donald J. Trump and Martin Luther King Jr. Day.”
The renaming of the holiday comes one month after the Trump-appointed board of the Kennedy Center voted to rename their building, also to include Trump. When asked why he’s begun putting his name where nobody asked for it, Trump stated, “Well you see, we live in a remarkable country, truly remarkable. And everyone says, people tell me ‘Donald, you’ve done so much for this country,’ and I tell them right back, I say ‘Thank you.’ And you know, they wanted to put my name, they said that my name should go on the building. And so it did. And they said the same about the day, and now these nasty protesters– bad people, I tell you– are saying things like ‘No Kings.’ And what a horrible sentiment, truly horrible. I think there should be two kings, me and Martin Luther.”
Trump continued, “And you know I say, I tell you, that I also have a dream. I do, I do, I have one just like the good reverend did. And you know my dream is for a great country– what a good, wonderful country we live in, great country– to be good and the best. And so, we’re so similar, we’re so like each other, me and Martin, that I think I should share, you know, share his day with him. And you know Martin would tell me, Martin Luther King, he’d say he’s okay with it and he loves it and supports it, and supports supporting it. He loves and supports me, you know. And so I think he wouldn’t mind if I slid my name right next to his; I think there’s a little room there.”
To finish off his string of thoughts, Trump added “And what’s next, who knows? Maybe we’ll do Trumpsgiving, or Trump of July, or Trumpoween. Maybe I’ll join that guy, great guy I say, Saint Patrick. He’s a lucky guy and I’m a lucky guy, what can I say? Anyways, happy day.”
