Colorblind MSU Fan Can’t Tell Who To Root For

By Sarah Ruiz

LOS ANGELES, CA –  Die hard Michigan State fan Fred Greenfield, who suffers from red-green colorblindness, realized he had no way of telling which team was his during their matchup against USC. “I can’t tell who to root for, everything looks yellow, and I have no idea what’s going on,” Greenfield complained. “At first I thought we scored a touchdown and cheered when our mascot did a backflip. Turns out that wasn’t even our mascot, they look identical”. His solution: look for audience cues in the visitor section and ALWAYS be the last one to cheer.

Michigan State hadn’t initially planned on wearing their Spartan Green jerseys, typically reserved for home games, but had to swap them out after a mishap by the Spartans’ equipment manager, in which student pranksters took a “massive dump” in the team’s unattended laundry bags, according to campus authorities. It is unknown whether the pranksters considered how this would affect colorblind students, and the incident is currently being investigated as a targeted attack against the visually impaired.

Sadly, Greenfield’s excitement got the better of him, leading to disastrous consequences. On fourth and short at the goal line, Coach Smith and the Spartans decided to go for it to take the lead and were abruptly stopped by the Trojans’ defensive front. Deep in Spartan Fan Territory, Greenfield let out a celebratory cheer and was immediately met with heckles and violent threats. For the rest of the quarter, Greenfield was tormented by his peers and was eventually removed from the stadium by security for his own safety.