Sunday, October 22, 2017
Breaking News:
USC on Brink of War Between Wheel People and Foot People
Little Sh*t Thinks Bar Mitzvah Actually Makes Him a Man
Freshman Tells Herself There’s Always Grad School to Get Rejected by Stanford Again
Sound of Own Voice Still Delightful Reports Guy In Discussion
Local Man Pushes Upper Limit of “All You Can Eat”
The Sack of Troy
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Chai Karve
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Qualifications
Class clown runner-up
Ethnically ambiguous
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