Report: Guys, Elvis JUST Died. Seriously. He Died TODAY.
by Joey Rayburn BUENOS AIRES, ARGENTINA – Elvis Presley, the international superstar best known by his moniker “The King of Read more
World
Cathol-Icky! Pope Francis Thinks Onoskelis the Fallen Angel of Perversion Is a Monica When She’s Clearly a Chandler!
by Finn Kobler VATICAN CITY - Last Wednesday, fans of 1994 hit show “Friends” and 594 B.C.E hit book “The Read more
Tom Cruise Set to Just Fall to His Death in Next Mission Impossible
by Seth Woodhouse Mission Impossible: Fallout became a critical and commercial success due to all of the extreme physical stunts that Read more
Scientists Finally Agree On What Constitutes Third Base
by Emily Halaka NEW YORK CITY, NY - For centuries, scientists, philosophers, and teenagers have ferociously debated what, exactly, constitutes Read more
Climate Scientists Warn All Video Games Will Include Shitty Underwater Levels by 2026
by Colin McIsaac LOS ANGELES, CA — A team of scientists gathered at the University of Southern California on Tuesday Read more
New Research Concludes Three Alt Rights Do Not Make An Alt Left
by Colin Mullins HARVARD, CONN. -- After less than a minute of analysis, researchers have concluded that three “alt-rights” do Read more
“People Need to Be More Open-Minded,” Asserts Woman Who Unfriended Everyone with Different Views
by Christine Politte SILVER LAKE, CA -- Saddened by the country’s deep ideological divisions, local woman Marilyn Reed made a Read more
Hollywood Soon To Run Out Of Adjective-Number Combinations For Movie Titles
by Amanda Suarez HOLLYWOOD, CA -- With the release of Magnificent Seven and Ridiculous 6, Hollywood is headed towards a Read more
Study Finds DayQuil To Be Gateway Drug To NyQuil
by Michael Savio WASHINGTON -- The Food and Drug Administration confirmed in a recent study that use of the drug Read more
God Confirms One Like Equivalent To One Prayer
by Michael Savio HEAVEN – At a recent press conference, our divine Lord and Creator stated that, without a doubt, Read more