Coolest Sixth Grader Ever Throws Ball Far
By Jonathan Krone JEFFERSON MIDDLE SCHOOL — Local sixth grader Jeffrey Sanderson cemented his status as the undisputed king of Read more
Sports
Huge Skateboard No Match For Tiny Rock
by Seth Woodhouse LOS ANGELES, CA — It was like any Tuesday for Gerald the Carbon GTR Skateboard, as his Read more
Roommate Really Glad You Think the Skeleton is a Decoration
By Jose Cardenas LOS ANGELES, CA — As Halloween rolls around, University of Southern California senior Richard Mortis feels relieved Read more
Student Running to Class Gripping Freshly Printed Essay Like It’s the Goddamn Olympic Torch
By Dan Toomey TROUSEDALE PARKWAY — Students gawked in anticipation and embarrassment on Friday as a heaving, perspiring freshman sprinted Read more
USC Athletics Hires Guy Who Was Really Good At Madden NFL 12
by Chris Cheshire HERITAGE HALL -- In front of a stunned crowd of local journalists, USC Athletic Director Lynn Swann Read more
Super Bowl Party Could Have Just Been Regular Party
by Joey Rayburn LOS ANGELES, CA – Across the country, Americans gathered in living rooms and planted themselves in front Read more
Veggie Platter at Super Bowl Party Left Untouched
by Jack Hackett and Kim Rogers LOS ANGELES, CA -- When Jerry Moskowitz walked into the joint, he used to Read more
Nation’s Small Talk Soon to Return to Conversations About Football
by Nolan Jones AMERICA -- The nation’s leading sociologists confirmed Friday that, after a bitter election that dominated America’s casual Read more
Report: Song Girls’ Hips Defy Laws of Physics
by Rob Smat photo by Mike Doeff USC PHYSICS -- It’s not every day you discredit 500 years of scientific Read more