News in Brief Robert Durst Tries Stand-Up, Kills March 6, 2018March 6, 2018 Alex Greenblatt 665 Views by Alex Greenblatt COMEDY CELLAR — At a local open mic, real estate mogul, heir to the Seymore Durst, and Read more
News in Brief Poor Family Uses Bread Instead of Hot Dog Buns February 5, 2018 Hannah Ceselski 856 Views by Hannah Ceselski SPRINGFIELD, MO -- Every Sunday night, matriarch Susan Hobbes treats her family to a special meal of Read more
News in Brief Nikias Emerges From Cocoon of Duct Tape Following Conclusion of UCLA Rivalry Week November 20, 2017 Staff 1248 Views news in photos Read more
News in Brief Bored Man Shaves Hair Around Nipples to Look Like Eyebrows November 8, 2017 Staff 615 Views by Ryan Zubery BLOOMINGTON, MN — Having nothing else to do at 2:57 PM, Devon Tracy went to his bathroom and Read more
News in Brief Girl’s Boyfriend Like, The Funniest Guy Ever September 19, 2017September 19, 2017 Chai Karve 1964 Views by Chai Karve USC -- We at the Sack of Troy have received word that local junior Jane Lazuli’s boyfriend Read more
News in Brief Toes Slip Out From Bottom of Blankie April 7, 2017April 6, 2017 Chai Karve 903 Views by Chai Karve MAZDA BROOK, NJ -- Late Thursday night, in a suburban home in northern New Jersey, 7 year Read more
News in Brief Mom Only Person to Talk Shit to Daughter’s Face and Compliment Behind Back February 10, 2017February 10, 2017 Sydney Sanchez 1516 Views by Sydney Sanchez LOS ANGELES, CA -- After overhearing her mother on the phone, college sophomore Eloise Van realized that Read more
News in Brief Netflix Adds “& Chill” Section Featuring Several Hours of Background Noise September 28, 2016January 9, 2017 Matt Hanisch 1978 Views by Matt Hanisch LOS GATOS, CA — Based on feedback from numerous sources, Netflix has discovered that its viewers no Read more
News in Brief Dakota Access Pipeline Finds Alt. Route Through Black Neighborhood September 19, 2016January 9, 2017 Matt Hanisch 2450 Views by Matt Hanisch LAKE OAHE, ND — After enduring several protests from members of the Standing Rock Sioux Tribe, developers Read more
News in Brief Ralphs Fixes Typo, Adds Apostrophe September 12, 2016September 12, 2016 Chai Karve 1332 Views by Chai Karve COMPTON, CA -- At Ralphs Corporate Headquarters, panic is afoot. Top analysts in the company came to Read more