Op-Ed: Biden Won… So Why Am I Still Depressed?
By Alexandra Ornes SAN FRANCISCO, CA – With Biden’s official win of the electoral college it is guaranteed he will
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Editorial
The Sack of Troy Endorses Wallace Shawn For President
After heavy deliberation, The Sack of Troy Editorial Board has concluded that we believe beloved socialist Wallace Shawn is the
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Op-Ed: Halloween or Not I’m Tryna Get Piped by Jack Skellington
LOS ANGELES, CA – Once again, spooky season has returned, giving me the perfect opportunity to finally come clean to
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I Can’t Believe Bars and Clubs Are Closed While I’m in My Sexual Prime!
By Baby Nut CHICAGO, IL — Earlier this year the Planters mascot Mr. Peanut died in a horrible car crash
Read moreCancel Culture Gone Too Far? Child Rapist Roman Polanski Hasn’t Won A Golden Globe In Over 9 Years!
By Jonathan Krone PARIS, FRANCE – It’s hard to believe, but it’s been 9 years since Roman Polanski won a
Read moreThe Sack of Troy Endorses Mikey McCormack For 8th Grade Class President
Mikey at his 14th birthday party showing off his presidential potential by eating a wing with hot sauce! The Sack Read more
Staff Picks: Highly Recommended Fall Courses
by Staff With school right around the corner students are frantically searching for guidance on which courses to take; to
Read moreIntroduction from the Editor: Dear Foolish Americans, I come to Your Country in Peace
by Axel Hellman and Dylan Abrams Letter from the Editor: Greetings, wretched people of USC, and welcome to my wonderful
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