Opinion: Haha U Up?
By Brad Hey girl, uh haha u up? Covid been hittin’ me with the loneliness so I decided to stop
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Strong Feelings
Opinion: Now Is Not the Time For Driving a Ship Through Ursula the Sea Witch’s Chest as She Cackles About Ruling the Seven Seas, Now Is the Time For Unity
By Jetsam We were all shocked when Ursula the sea witch tricked King Triton into giving her his magic trident.
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Op-Ed: Biden Won… So Why Am I Still Depressed?
By Alexandra Ornes SAN FRANCISCO, CA – With Biden’s official win of the electoral college it is guaranteed he will
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Quirky Yet Relatable Girl Falls Into A Deep Depression After Hearing ‘Parks and Recreation’ Is Leaving Netflix. It’s Me. I’m The Girl.
By Alexandra Ornes Los Angeles, CA ― On October 1st, 2020 Parks and Recreation, the hilarious and beautiful tropical fish
Read moreJason Voorhees Enraged After Momentarily Believing a Meme That Said Halloween is on Friday the 13th This Year
CAMP CRYSTAL LAKE, NJ — Invincible serial killer and bad luck holiday enthusiast Jason Voorhees threw a fit last Sunday
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Op-Ed: Halloween or Not I’m Tryna Get Piped by Jack Skellington
LOS ANGELES, CA – Once again, spooky season has returned, giving me the perfect opportunity to finally come clean to
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OPINION: Why We Shouldn’t Have Published Mr. Met’s Op-Ed “Let Me Hit Children With a Baseball Bat”
By Drew Thomas-Nathan LOS ANGELES, CA — Baseball mascot Mr. Met’s essay about wanting to murder children in cold blood
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New Netflix Show With Positive, Nuanced Queer Representation Unfortunately Still Sucks
By Finn Kobler After the problematic lesbian fetishism of “Orange is the New Black” and the bisexual erasure of “The Read more
OPINION: Why’d We Have to Learn Sex Ed If We’d Never Have to Use That Stuff in the Real World?
by Keith Herrmann Cursive. Civil War generals. Sexual intercourse. What do these things have in common? The government made sure Read more
OPINION: If Trump’s Guilty of Abusing Power for Political Gain, Then I’m Guilty of Vehicular Manslaughter
These days in America, it seems like everyone’s got to be a “criminal.” The media just loves throwing that label Read more