If Someone Tells Me I Have A Great Personality One More Time I’m Donating to ISIS
by Sara Linden I have been told fourteen times in the last two days that I am “so fun” and Read more
Columns
New Poll Conducted by the Cool Kids Concludes That I’m Gay
by Ethan Thomson According to a new poll conducted by the cool kids at New Summit Middle School, I am Read more
My Grandfather’s Final Words Were “Cinnamon Is the Winnamon,” and It Still Haunts Me to This Day
by Cameron Wen A death in the family is tough to sugarcoat. My grandfather’s death certainly wasn’t sugarcoated. It was Read more
I Have a Rolling Backpack and I Still Pull More Bitches Than You
by Kylie Charney-Harrington I know you’ve seen me around. The swagger in my walk, the tucked-in polo, the cuffed jeans. Read more
Well…Fuck.
Fuck. Shit ass tits bitch mother fucker ass butt dick. How did we get to this point--shit Goddamn fuck shit Read more
I Was a Feminist Until I Learned I Couldn’t Sexually Harass My Coworkers
by Thomas Marshall I like to think of myself as a progressive. I read the literature, I try to keep Read more
How to Talk to a Woman Who Has a 100ft Restraining Order on You
by Quinton Buxton and Jack Hackett These days, many women walk around listening to music and carrying their restraining order Read more
Smart! This Girl Took Birthday Pictures for Her Friends’ Facebook Walls Early This Year!
by James Osborne What a genious! Citing the difficulty experienced last year in finding the perfect naturally taken picture to Read more
Dear Mom: Can you schedule my dentist appointment?
by Kim Rogers Dear Mom, Can you schedule my dentist appointment? -Michael Dear Michael, I called Read more