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Columns

Apologies to The Editor Columns 

Apologies to the Editor: I’m Not Really Sorry But My Mom Said I Had to Apologize

March 30, 2021March 29, 2021 Rachel Michelman 198 Views

By Rachel Michelman Dear Editor, Listen, punk. Let’s get things straight. You’re a freaking nerd who doesn’t know your place

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Columns Girlboss Alert! 

Girl Boss Alert! Another Ship Gets Stuck in the Suez Canal But It Drew A Vagina This Time

March 29, 2021March 29, 2021 Sarah Cortina 140 Views

SUEZ CANAL, EGYPT – Seamen have reported yet another hold up in the Suez Canal this morning, but this time,

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Columns Girlboss Alert! 

Girlboss Alert! Cute Design of Tampon Applicator Makes Periods TOTALLY Worth It

March 18, 2021March 18, 2021 Alexandra Ornes 218 Views

By Alexandra Ornes LOS ANGELES, CA – In a total bad bitch moment, Always has come out with a new

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Columns Strong Feelings 

Opinion: I Miss Trump’s Twitter More Than My Ex

March 16, 2021March 16, 2021 Alexandra Ornes 199 Views

By Alexandra Ornes After the obligatory mourning period, I think I’m finally ready to share my feelings with the world.

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Columns Strong Feelings 

Op-Ed: The Gods Are Displeased

March 9, 2021March 8, 2021 Hannah Ryan 143 Views

By Hannah Ryan Hark! The Gods are displeased and ‘tis time to talk about it.  Everyone is running ‘round willy-nilly

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Columns Girlboss Alert! 

Girlboss Alert! Meghan Markle Calls the Queen A Bitch In New Oprah Interview

March 8, 2021March 8, 2021 Emily Torp 303 Views

By Emily Torp LONDON, UK – Meghan has officially reclaimed her voice! This #qween is the first black woman to

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Apologies to The Editor Columns 

Apologies to the Editor: I’m Sorry, But Can We Just Forget About Last Night?

March 5, 2021March 3, 2021 Rachel Michelman 202 Views

By Rachel Michelman Dear Editor, Morning. No, I don’t want pizza you left on your counter, but thanks for the

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Columns Girlboss Alert! 

Girlboss Alert! This Mother and Daughter Both Tested Positive for COVID-19!

March 1, 2021March 1, 2021 Sarah Cortina 165 Views

By Sarah Cortina LOS ANGELES, CA – In this pandemic, it’s been difficult to stay connected while distanced, but this

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College Columns Strong Feelings 

Opinion: Haha U Up?

January 29, 2021January 26, 2021 Professor Dietrichson 280 Views

By Brad Hey girl, uh haha u up? Covid been hittin’ me with the loneliness so I decided to stop

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Columns Politics Strong Feelings 

Opinion: Now Is Not the Time For Driving a Ship Through Ursula the Sea Witch’s Chest as She Cackles About Ruling the Seven Seas, Now Is the Time For Unity

January 12, 2021January 11, 2021 Drew Thomas-Nathan 355 Views

By Jetsam We were all shocked when Ursula the sea witch tricked King Triton into giving her his magic trident.

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  • Local 6 Year Old Fed Up with Sinful Hubris of Man
  • Queen Finally Defeats Zombie Prince Phillip
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Popular Posts

  • Tucker Carlson Removes Helmet of Hair to Reveal LEGO Head
    Tucker Carlson Removes Helmet of Hair to Reveal LEGO Head
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    Judas Totally Drops the Ball and Calls It “The Last Supper” to Jesus’s Face

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